The days before leaving

Time passes so fast, 2ND semester is coming soon in another 3 weeks time. I have kept myself busy during this holiday. After my 3 weeks attachment in the hospital, many things has happen. My granny have been hospitalised twice during this 2 weeks and I felt bad and unease. This reminds me the feeling i felt 12years back, when my mum pass away so sudden. I saw her body burned in front of me and this sudden unease feeling will always come back whenever I think back.

I felt so weird after chatting with Samuel few days back. I seldom tell him or show him my weaker side. That day i suddenly felt very emotional, maybe due to my granny sudden hospitalisation. haiz, felt so regret telling him my feeling and my thought about my mum death. I think i try not to contact him. Sometime I wonder why i can't let down my amour, and cry easily in front of others or tell them my feelings. Why must I always pretending to be strong? Sometimes I really felt tired and wanna let it go.

Forget about those feelings, I am going to manila this coming Monday!! yippee! kind of excited, hopefully I can get good stuff and gain more knowledge.:) I really wanna thank serene, she really help me out regardless of anything. But I really hope i can help her kick off that "bastard". keep on interfering her life and stopping her from moving forward. Guys is so scaring sometimes, haiz.. don't feel like saying any more.

Wow it is a beginnings of a new term. Everything remain almost the same just that one of my friend in my class left the course. It is very saddening but also very happy for him. Staying at a course that you don't like will really change your future. Purchasing your dream that you really want, then you will not regret in life.

Everyone have our own way in life, nobody will be the same. Every lives on earth is unique, so sometimes we have to make changes in our life to move forward. All the people around us will soon left, when you realise you are alone.. It can be lost at times but we people are great adaptor in life, we soon will adapt and move forward. Nobody will wait for you either. I realise this when I am having my Os last year. I never like to be alone but last year I realise I am alone, everyone is too. I really hate this, feeling lost but life still must continue. Time will never wait. This is how great God is, making us a good adaptor and making people the way we are. But sometimes I really hate this, I believe that we people can control our life but sometimes , something we really cannot lies that we are control by God.


I will never want to have that feeling anymore. Never but what can I do,I can't control. We are born on earth to explore,to experience. So don't hesitate to explore life and hope,earth can be change. Like how our ancestor have done to the earth. Changing history and creating new history that remain on earth to our further generation forever and ever.

Poly Life

Recently never been updating my blog. It have been a very tiring and challenging days, ever since poly life started for me. All the quizzes , exam and clinical attachment began so fast. I really began to feel stress. It's out of my expectation, I thought I will be able to slack through but however things turn out to be opposite.

Starting from Monday, it will be my 5Th week in poly, when it seem like the first day to me. Now I am doing my first reflection journey for my CITs module. I have to write between 750 to 900 words in total. This is the longest "essay" I have ever written. I actually haven even finish half if it, it is really very tough and i have to hand this in by tomorrow. Oh no, how can i finish this up. This following Wednesday I have my NSL and PAS quizzes going on. I really hope that I can pass. I have failed my MIC quizzes, I don't intend to fail any module again. Haiz, am I giving myself too much stress?

HOLIDAY LIFEs

After Os, finally able to RELAX.. However I still wanna find a job quickly. A few days ago, Samuel gave me a agent number so that they can help me look for administration jobs. So I think ya, give it a try.. So I called up, they asked me to go down for interview. Hm then i think i should also help serene to get a job too. So I went to ask the agent can I bring my friend along.. and she said can. Both of us that day went for interview, and it ended shortly. After the interview, we went to make my passport and identity card. On our way back home, the agent called Serene up and Serene got a job. At first, I felt happy for her then this weird thinking coming through my mind. "when will I get my call?" I waited for a couples of days but no calls I see. Samuel asked me to call them but at first I refuse because i knew that the answer will be "if we found a job that is suits you, we will call you." But even though I knew what they are gonna answer, I still called up. After the call ended, I felt discriminating and so frustrating. Therefore I gave up waiting.

However I told myself I should not just give up. I must look for a better job. I went around asking my friends to introduce me job. Finally hard works really pay, I just got a call from my tuition teacher and she found me a job. Tomorrow I am going for interview. Pray that I can get in. :)

Wasting my time these days is really terrible. Doing things that can really bore me up. other then looking for jobs, other then that was slacking at home. I really hope that I can get in and hope that the pay is high. hee:) A bit materialists but I really wanna earn money AFAP. BECAUSE I WANNA GO FOR A HOLIDAY USING MY OWN SAVING!!!

I have received my REPORT slip a few days ago and I actually failed all my subject. Surprisingly I don't feel bad about it. Seriously I really wanna do my best, is just that nothing motivates me. However my humanities is improving and is even better than my math and POA. I think it is time to make a change. I must practice more math and POA secretly of course, because I wanna give my friends a surprise. Getting a B3 will be my first target. Gambata!

26Th July is a day I can hardly forget this year. So many things had happen just on that particular day. My teacher wedding, my band performances, math reminder and catching dark knight with Joeyee and Samuel. Actually there is still a lot of programme just that I have rejected to be involved.

After my math reminder in the morning, I went to my band to see how my Junior progress. they are not in their best state yet but I believe they can do it. After they have finish practicing I left them and went home preparing to dress myself up for my teacher's wedding. I am meeting Chuan and Kang Rui and some of my school's mate. This is a battle between Chuan and my classmates. Everyone in our class is planing to see how Chuan will actually dress herself, if she wear something unpleasant, she will be humiliate. Luckily what she wore that day look quite pleasant except that pink bag of hers. I felt that Kang Rui have very low self esteem, she concern about how our classmate look at her. she herself felt some pressure.

Joeyee have interview at temasksa polytechnic and accompany by Huiying. They thought that can't make for ms Fahizah wed but luckily they make it before the wedding couple left. Ms Fahizah was so beautiful that day. never see her in her make up before, her husband and her is really the perfect match. I am really happy for her.

Joeyee and I meet Samuel and catch DARK KNIGHT together at CATHY.
Dark knight is really a great movie.. However the ending is a little too long and unexpected. but it is worth the watch.

Through Samuel I happen to read this particular book, through it I understand how to be financially independent. Once you start reading it you really will get hooked by it. This book is called the "RICH WOMAN". I really encourage all woman to read it, know more about investment and the E,S,B,I. Employee, Self-employ, Businessman and Investor.

I get myself ready, I find out more once I have all the preparation, I will start my first investment. I really want to become financially independent, so that I can depend on no one but myself. I believe money can talk and anyone can do investment.

Okay stop all the investing thing.. YEN TING work hard! O level is coming within 2months time and there is only 17 days left to prelim.

This is suppose to be posted long ago, I finally have the time to go online. These few days a lot of programme going on, time is really running out and from today onwards to my O level is only left with 68days.

Nearly 11pm, I was suppose to be a sleep by then. However i don't know what has happen to me that day. Many things run through my mind, I can't stop myself from thinking. While I am trying to make myself sleep, suddenly flash light came across my eyes. It was the thunder. A while later it started to rain. Listening the sound of the rain, dip drop dip drop the rain goes. Slowly my eyes close and even without the fan , the temperature is so cooling bring me slowly to my dreams. I woke up when the alarm rang, hope today was Saturday. Recently I received a call from my ex college, she said she is getting married and hope i can be there. Of course i most willing to, but I have never been to a Malay wedding before. What can I give to her? After we end our conversation, I quickly call up serene to ask her to come along with me. She agreed, luckily. Really feel very happy for sikin, she is like a big sister to me. She is very caring and taught me a lot of stuff. Really glad that she is getting married. Life is so unpredictable, never know what will happen to us next. Wonder whether I can be like sikin becoming somebody role model. Nowadays I really lost the mood to study, I have been planing for my future. If I fail my O I will move on to ITE and study for beauty therapy. After I graduate, I will go get a job and save some money for education. I planning to move on to study English at British counsel and diploma for beauty therapy. I predict that all this I will took about 8 and half years for saving as well as for education. After everything I will be 25years old, I think that will be the time to start a relationship. However will this come to me, I don't believe in love. Love between family and friends can be so weak to be tested. A relationship can be broken so easily, people nowadays don't really appreciate relationship and be responsible to their life, their future. Can tradition female like me, still find man that we can give love and life to them. When did I reach this topic? However, Life is so short and precious don't try to do stupid things that will make us regret for a life time. If you have already done somethings that will make you really regret, see whether there is any solution. If there is none then continuous, no point thinking it again.
THE END

30 APRIL 2008

MORNING TRIP TO SCHOOL

The alarm rang. Ring , ring. This sound irritates my ear. I slowly open my eyes stretch my hand toward my phone. It is now 5am, it was still early i thought. Happily pressing the snoring button and went back to sleep. Awhile later that iri sound came back, I took the phone up slowly looking at the time again. Oh no, it was 6.30am. I stood up suddenly and almost hurt myself. I dash out to change and get myself wash up. Rushing to get my bag pack and finally I am done.
While waiting for the bus, I saw the usual old couple again and know my day will be spoil today. The bus came and everyone went up. It was almost fully pack and i manage to get a Conner space for myself. Awhile later some passenger reaches their stop and I went right in. More passengers at the next stop and more passengers went down. It went up and down, up and down again. I felt myself like a rubber band that allows to be pull here and there.
Finally I reach my bus stop and ended my rubber band journey. I rush up the stairs and went right up to the gallery. Now I am like wearing a mask that said "better don't come near me". Ms fahizah saw me asked me out for a talk. I told her this stupid reason of my and went back up to my seat.
I find it hard to change my mood back to normal. This rubber band journey destroyed my mood through out the day.
I really hate to board morning buses.

THE END